Laughing at myself...

Laughing at myself today…

I was reminded today of what has been one of my life verses (or, more accurately, life paragraphs) made dear to me years ago when experiencing heavy duty judgment and labeling by those who were close friends and family when we dared step outside our former church box.

Laughing at myself for forgetting all too readily just who I am. Servant of Christ – literally his under-rower, his attendant waiting at his beck and call. “Economist” – his “dispenser” of the goods (the Message/Mystery) as he dictates and determines. Forgetting too easily what matters, forgetting whose opinion matters, forgetting how unqualified I am to even render judgment concerning myself (and yet I do it all the time, usually with pretty low marks). Presuming to be in a position to render that judgment concerning others far too readily. Cringing or sulking when those I perceive as religious or irreligious bullies all too eagerly presume to take that position with me based on little more than a few passing remarks (if that much). What utter absurdity – both on their part to so judge and on mine to care.

Laughing at myself – and breathing in the fresh air of freedom in Jesus that Paul invites us all to inhale into the very depths of our being.

So here it is, five times over from ancient to modern, from literal translation to free. Read it. Ponder it. Breathe it. Deeply. Exhale it into all of your doings and comings and goings.

And perhaps you’ll find yourself joining me just a bit in laughing at ourselves…

1 Corinthians 4:1-5

So a man guess us [So a man guess, or deem, us], as ministers of Christ, and dispensers of the mysteries of God. Now it is sought here among the dispensers, that a man be found true. And to me it is for the least thing, that I be deemed of you, or of man's day; but neither I deem myself. For I am nothing over-trusting to myself, but not in this thing I am justified [Soothly I am nothing guilty to myself, but not in this thing am I justified]; for he that deemeth me, is the Lord. Therefore do not ye deem before the time, till that the Lord come, which shall lighten [alighten] the hid things of darknesses, and shall show the counsels of hearts; and then praising shall be to each man of God. Wycliffe NT

Let a man so account of us, as of the ministers of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful. But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of you, or of man's judgment: yea, I judge not mine own self. For I know nothing by myself; yet am I not hereby justified: but he that judgeth me is the Lord. Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God. KJV

This, then, is how you ought to regard us: as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the mysteries God has revealed. Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God. NIV

So look at Apollos and me as mere servants of Christ who have been put in charge of explaining God’s mysteries. Now, a person who is put in charge as a manager must be faithful. As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don’t even trust my own judgment on this point. My conscience is clear, but that doesn’t prove I’m right. It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide. So don’t make judgments about anyone ahead of time—before the Lord returns. For he will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives. Then God will give to each one whatever praise is due.  NLT

Don't imagine us leaders to be something we aren't. We are servants of Christ, not his masters. We are guides into God's most sublime secrets, not security guards posted to protect them. The requirements for a good guide are reliability and accurate knowledge. It matters very little to me what you think of me, even less where I rank in popular opinion. I don't even rank myself. Comparisons in these matters are pointless. I'm not aware of anything that would disqualify me from being a good guide for you, but that doesn't mean much. The Master makes that judgment. So don't get ahead of the Master and jump to conclusions with your judgments before all the evidence is in. When he comes, he will bring out in the open and place in evidence all kinds of things we never even dreamed of—inner motives and purposes and prayers. Only then will any one of us get to hear the "Well done!" of God. MSG